I almost lost…


….but I finally figured out how to put this little #)$#)#er together…lol

Boxes and boxes


And…it really starts!

Places To Go


I am moving.  I knew I was going to do this a long time ago, (years, in fact), but now it’s coming up right quickly. Almost too fast. May 5 I fly.

This will be the hardest move I will ever make, I think.  I’m not just moving to a new apartment, a new town, or a different state. I’m moving out of the US to a new country. Which means leaving so much behind.

Things..lots of  “things” I am leaving behind – dishes, my pretty lamps – a home full of furniture and things that have memories.  The memory of my frustration of putting Ikea furniture together for the very first time, and the absolute joy when, once the pieces were together, that they didn’t fall apart.  The day a Christine bargained down the price of the sofa, as only she could.  The laugh I had at the frantic phone call from her standing at a tag sale,  telling me to “GET HERE RIGHT NOW!! YOU MUST HAVE THIS CABINET”..which was perfect, and has been with me since, and will be with her when I move. The lamps..the rugs..the color of paint..the dining room set…the easels and paintings…and on and on. Overall, really, though, these things are not as important as my memory of them.  But I need some of these “things” to be with me, and help keep me grounded. I gave up a huge amount 14 years ago, and honestly, I can’t (won’t!) do that again. Books must come. My pretty hand painted apple dishes from Christine must come. The painting I bought in Paris must come.  The metal sculpture of the Rooster my Child Person gave me must come. The small things.. which may turn into 30+ boxes!

My home..I’ve had a lot of parties here .. Thanksgiving (only once, thank goodness!!), New Years, Margarita Nights, a lot of “just because we needed to dance to 70-80-90’s music and get drunk” nights. I’ve thrown a wedding shower for Christine here. There have been taco nights where 40 (or more!!) tacos were deep fried, and when all the food was put on the table, silence ensued for a good 30 minutes while people ate and ate and ate. I had my wedding in this house.

I can walk through each room and hear everyone talking, hear the laughter. I can hear them discussing their lives…and politics, religion, sex, snow storms, making beach plans, the wonder that ONE friend thinks of the band U2, dislike of the Beatles, and love of Eddie and Pearl Jam and Disturbed. The benefits of a good vodka vs. the cheap shit. Which beer is best (Modelo), and which beer sucks (all the rest!). There have been tears spilled here…and a huge amount of laughter.

My family..I don’t even know where to begin here. My child person is now 24..but at what age can you really separate from your child without a huge amount of guilt..and fear..and that parental instinct that says DO NOT DO THIS? Deep down I know he will be okay. I know we can still Skype, and see each other.  But.. my baby. Here. Without me to help him see the other side of his views..guide him as best as I can..be there when he needs to talk..and cheer him on when he needs support?  Yup. Brain says No. Brain also says Go.  There is a no-win situation here. Love for your child, and the thought of being so far away…I can’t even write on this without tearing up. This conversation with myself (which this blog is), will have to wait for another day.

The friends I have here are not just friends..they have become my family over the last 10 years. They have supported me, and I them.  My family is what I call them. My niece. My sister. My brothers. My “adopted” Father (he “adopted” me a few years ago!!). Another bout of crying brought on by thinking of leaving these people I love has ensued. I talk on the phone with Christine every day. I have shared all the good, all the bad, all the ugly, all the joys with these people for years. I’ve been there for their good, bad, ugly and joys as well. I know myself well enough to know that it will be a struggle without them. Just a couple of days ago was the last “taco night – I shed quite a few tears, knowing that there were just a few more opportunities for nights like this with my wonderful family.

And yet.. even with all the “things”, my Child Person, and the family I leave behind, I start something new and exciting. A new experience to life. I did it when I was 18 – no reason I can’t do it again – and this time I have support from my family, and of course, from my sweet husband.  I know I can do this, even though I know there will be ups and downs. It’s a new adventure. People to meet. Foods to try. A language to learn. And places to go.


Oh, the Places You’ll Go!


Dr. Seuss

Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets. Look ’em over with care.
About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you’re too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you’ll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you’ll head straight out of town.

It’s opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And then things start to happen,
don’t worry. Don’t stew.
Just go right along.
You’ll start happening too.


You’ll be on y our way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so
but, sadly, it’s true
that Bang-ups
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump,
you’re not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right…
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles cross weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…

…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or the waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for the wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

That’s not for you!

Somehow you’ll escape
all that waiting and staying
You’ll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you’ll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You’ll be as famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don’t
Because, sometimes they won’t.

I’m afraid that some times
you’ll play lonely games too.
Games you can’t win
’cause you’ll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you’ll be quite a lot.

And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance
you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul.
On you will go
though your enemies prowl.
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike,
And I know you’ll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You’ll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life’s
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never foget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)


be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea,
You’re off the Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!

‘All that is gold does not glitter’

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.

J.R.R. Tolkien

Keep The Ducks Safe!


(yes, this has been amusing me for hours)


The Child Unit in The Wiz, playing the Tin Man at Uni.  I’m so proud.  I’ve not been allowed to see the production until ‘they got it right’, and so I’ll be going next week.  I really cannot wait.

4-5-2014 – We drove up to see the show yesterday and wow!! He sang 2 solos and danced, and acted and was absolutely fan-freaking-tastic.  Costume was great, makeup was great and his voice — he sang his songs so well, and with such emotion that I really felt sad for the Tin Man.  I’m a proud mama for sure.